Tonks and Remus: Pained by the Past
by ThatNerdyFangirl
Summary: Tonks can't get over Sirius' death, and Remus can't stand to see the woman he loves so pained.


Tonks was all and pleased her cousin had offered up the Black house for the Order of the Phoenix. She immediately joined in and was ready to go. When she saw all the names of the people who would be fighting with, and was excited. But, after a year, things began to fall apart now that Sirius had died. Voldemort was back, and no where was quite safe, except the House of Black. Also, she began to lose real interest for everything now, since she was still grieving over his death. Only Lupin was her comfort, knowing that she would find strength and hope in every word he said. He truly believed that one day they would be free from living in fear of Voldemort, and maybe Tonks was so desperate to hear that, that was the reason she fell in love with found herself helping here and there, but mostly she was encouraged to stay behind at the house for the Order. She didn't mind. She spent her time wandering the halls, occasionally bumping things over, and would look for mementos from Sirius. Having time alone allowed her this freedom, also time to grieve alone.

*()*()*()*()*

It was about a week from Christmas when Lupin stopped by to check on Tonks. He was worried about her. He found himself attracted to her ad someone who sort of represented his past self. Her stunning beauty was falling short as she morphed to match her sadness. As a friend of Sirius', he thought maybe he could help her cheer up, at least for the sake of Christmas he found himself on the doorstep of Grimmauld place, he knocked politely. There was a crash that sounded so loud it made it clear to the door. Lupin chuckled. He heard the latch of the door click and Tonks' blue eyes peeked from the crack in the door. Her eyes crinkled as she smiled at Lupin.

"Remus!" She said in a bright voice. Lupin smiled and nodded.

"Um, may I?"

It took Tonks a minute before she snapped out of it. She blinked and shook her head, throwing the door open.

*()*()*()*()*

Tonks lead him to the kitchen, where she put water on for tea. Lupin sank into the chair gratefully. He was sore and tired from the full moon the night before. He held his arm close to his chest, a new gash he had inflicted on himself in his werewolf state. He breathed deeply.

"So how's that arm?" Tonks asked with her back to him. Lupin startled at her attentiveness and stuttered. "Yeah. I know about it." She turned to face Lupin. She placed a steaming cup of tea in front of him, which he took gratefully.

"I may seem clumsy and dumb, but I do pay attention." Tonks said sullenly, swirling her finger through the top of her tea.

Lupin looked on with concern. "You are most definitely not clumsy or dumb. Sure, maybe a bit unbalanced at times, and maybe you don't know the answer to all things. That doesn't make you clumsy or stupid. That makes you human."

Tonks smiled shyly. "You think so?"

"I know so."

Lupin reached across the table and held Tonks' chin up. She blushed and looked back down at her tea. Lupin was caught in the moment and shook himself. "I have to go. Mundungus needs watching. Never can leave that loony man alone for too long." Lupin chuckled and pulled his coat off the back of the chair. Tonks nodded and her smile fell from her face. She liked being in company with someone else because her only company was Kreacher, and he never even listened to her anyway. Lupin noticed it, and walked over to her.

"I'll see if I can stop by tomorrow, okay?" She nodded and escorted him outside. He bid her a goodbye before dissapparating off to somewhere. Tonks closed the door, and a huge smile lit up her face.

*()*()*()*()*

For the next day or so, Tonks waited impatiently around the house. Kreacher mumbled some choosy words every once and a while, her good mood was revolting to sunset fell, Tonks gave up, and sat alone on Sirius' bed, holding a picture of Sirius, James, Peter, and Lupin from their Hogwarts days. She started crying again and saw the picture get blotchy and blurry. She couldn't stand it. Everyone just thought she was Sirius' cousin, but she was so much more than that. After a bout of crying, she was drying her tears when she saw a figure in the doorway. Lupin leaned against the door frame.

"Oh. Lupin. I didn't think you were coming."

*()*()*()*()*

When Tonks made the statement that she didn't think he would come, he was sad that she didn't believe that he would always come for her. It didn't matter where he was, he would always be ready to aid her in anything. He had lied in bed the last night, realizing how much he truly cared for her. Anything she wanted, he would go to the ends of the Earth just to see her happy.

"Of course I came." He walked over to her. Sitting down next to her, he saw a picture that brought on a flood of memories and a wave of grief. Tonks saw the pain in his eyes, and stuffed it away.

"You wanna know why that was taken?" Tonks shook her head. "It was the last day of our seventh year. James and Sirius were so pleased with themselves. They had managed to pull one last prank on Snape, by summoning all of his clothing by magic and scattering it about the grounds. James and Sirius knew that they couldn't get a detention for it. I remember doing nothing but trying to convince Peter that he shouldn't tell Snape where the clothes were. It would take the fun out of it." Lupin grinned and faced Tonks. A single tear ran down her face, and he knew it was because of Sirius.

*()*()*()*()*

"I know I should...get over him..." Tonks began. Lupin shook his head.

"Deaths are part of who you become. Sirius' death has shown me how strong you are, not how weak." Tonks looked up with a questioning face.

"What do you mean?"

Lifting his hand, he used his thumb to gently wipe off the tear and rested his hand on her cheek

"Even with a family death, you have still been in the Order. You fought all those Death Eaters even after losing him. You have been keeping watch over this house and been ready on a moments notice to come or go." With that, he used his other hand to hold her other cheek."You, Nymphadora Tonks, are the bravest women I have ever met."

He leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips. Tonks was surprised but kissed him back. She held onto the back of his neck, and he rested a hand on the arch of her back. It was perfect. They were perfect. These two people were connected over a death and died connected.

*()*()*()*()*

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